Going Over the Rainbow: Pronouns and Cons

January 11, 2016January 11, 2016 Bran Lindy Ayres1 Comment

On January 8, 2016 the American Dialect Society voted singular they as the word of the year.

The use of singular they builds on centuries of usage, appearing in the work of writers such as Chaucer, Shakespeare, and Jane Austen. In 2015, singular they was embraced by the Washington Post style guide. Bill Walsh, copy editor for the Post, described it as “the only sensible solution to English’s lack of a gender-neutral third-person singular personal pronoun.” – http://www.americandialect.org/2015-word-of-the-year-is-singular-they

This is a big deal. Especially for people like me who are not comfortable with gendered pronouns. It means that people cannot tell me that it is improper grammar to use they as my pronoun. It might take some time for people to get used to the idea of singular they, but it’s not the first time English as a language as changed and it most certainly won’t be the last.

Even the argument that it will be awkward to say things such as: “I saw Bran today, they were working on a new project.” doesn’t fly with me. It might sound off to an English major but for the general populace it won’t matter.

However, it will matter a great deal to non-binary, trans and genderfluid people who are not comfortable with gendered pronouns.

I understand this might be a hard concept for cis-gendered persons to grasp and truly there is no way for them to sympathize. They simply do not have the mental framework for it.

When someone calls me by female pronouns, it really unravels all the daily work (mentally, physically and emotionally) that I have done for years in order to find a gender that feels comfortable to me. I do not see anything wrong with being a woman or feminine (if anything, I often wish I could identify as this because it would be easier in some ways), but I simply do not feel like a female-bodied person. I can hardly remember a moment in my life when I did. -Janke Seltsam (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/james-nichols/misidentification-and-transphobia-one-musicians-experiences-touring-america_b_3362069.html)

With that being said, this does not mean that cis-gendered persons cannot and should not try to understand other genders. It involves being open and sensitive to the knowledge that not everyone goes by he or she.

Identity Crisis

I’m a big Transformers fan. The cool thing about them is they are robots. They do not have gender or gender binaries. Some choose to identify as male or female and use the appropriate pronouns. But what if you are writing a character who is trans, non-binary or gender-queer? What do you do then?

You, my dear writer, use their correct pronouns.

But, you say, what if they are a trans woman and the reader needs to know they are trans and were assigned male at birth?

A valid question; you want your readers to know how your character identifies but you also don’t want run the risk of turning your character into a walking stereotype, or make readers feel as though your character is wearing a sign that says ‘Hi I’m trans.’

transgender

That does not mean that the subject should not be addressed. It absolutely should. Below is a list of ways you can show, and tell, your readers which gender—if any—your character identifies with.

If a character’s gender is in question, have other characters comment on or think about it. This is perfectly alright. Here is an example from Masquerade, my upcoming short story prequel to The Jeweled Dagger:

He turned back to find Sivil staring at him with a strange expression. “I … apologize, from your dress and demeanor I thought you were a man. I should have realized, with the long hair and pretty face—”

“Sivil, does the Steward need a footman or a housemaid because I can do either.”

“A footman.” Sivil nodded, his gaze darting around the room, only settling briefly on Lafayette. “Is it true what they say about Kedonians then? That you don’t have genders?”

Lafayette stared at Sivil a strange cold knot tightening in his gut. He’d heard a lot of idiotic rumors about Kedonians but this one was new. He took a step closer to Sivil, “My gender is my own business. Not yours. If the Steward needs a footman, he will get a footman.”

If the character is a viewpoint character it is just fine to let them think about it, our gender identities and expression are a large part of how we socialize.
Let your character come right out and confirm their gender. This is best done in dialog with other characters, though depending on the story there are other ways to approach this as well.
Have other characters comment on their gender expression. Non-binary, trans and gender queer persons are beset with misunderstanding and misgendering on a daily basis, so it’s likely they will encounter this in your narrative.*
They can ask to be called by their correct pronouns or inform other characters of their correct pronouns.
Use description to show their gender expression. This one is a bit trickier and can come off as being transphobic and othering. Here is a good example of how to handle it without going overboard:

I was living in Vancouver’s West End, still wet behind the ears, having just arrived from the Yukon in a Volkswagen van. It was only the second apartment I ever rented, and the first time I laid eyes on Rosie it was raining, and there she was, skinny, wiry, restless-eyed Rosie right behind me on the sidewalk that led to our building’s front door with bother her arms burdened down with grocery bags. So I held the door open for her, just like my gran had taught me to.

“Chivalry lives,” she snorted as she clunked in past me in her skin-tight Levi’s and low-cut blouse and kitten heels. Of course I did not know the words for kitten heels. Yet.

Except her voice was low, like an eighteen-wheeler gearing down with its engine brakes grinding on a long steep hill down from the summit, and her bare skin above her black bra was covered in five o’clock shadow and painted with now bleeding-edged and sailor-flash faded tattoos.

I had never met any other woman quite like Rosie before.

—Gender Failure

As the example shows, the description of Rosie is vivid but there is no mistaking that the narrator sees her as a woman. A little later in the story the narrator makes the mistake of calling her, he. Rosie is quick to correct them. Other than that, the fact that Rosie is trans is never really discussed. She is Rosie.

I see you squinting at the screen as you think … but the only pronouns I am aware of are he and she. Am I supposed to make up something?

Nope. As I mentioned above singular they is perfectly acceptable. My genderfluid character Lafayette, mentioned in the above excerpt, goes by he/she/they depending on the circumstances and who they are with. There are also several accepted gender-less pronouns. The only issue with the list below is that they are not very well known outside the genderqueer community and can draw your reader out of the story as they try to parse the new words. Personally, I like Spivak (ey,em, eir) as it is the least visually jarring but it is entirely up to you.

Please do not be afraid to let your character use these pronouns. They’ll never enter wider use if we don’t actually use them.

pronoun-cards-2 — Image from the University of Wisconsin LGBT Resource Center

pronoun-card-1-1024x585

Contrary

You will likely get some irate readers asking why you decided to use ‘made-up’ pronouns. Be brave. Your desire to be inclusive of all genders is more important that their momentary discomfort.

Everyone deserves to be respected, even fictional characters. You cannot please everyone, but you could make a huge difference in someone’s life by showing them they have the right to be respected and treated as human no matter what gender they identify as.

As with all orientations and identities we must keep in mind that we are writing people. Which pronouns they prefer is a good clue to who they are and how they see themselves, but we must remember not to beat our reader over the head with this detail. It’s just another facet of who your character is as a person.

Ideally, your character’s gender should not be a major source of characterization. Relying on gender expression and society’s gender expectations to show character perpetuates and reinforces stereotypes. It is just fine to let gender be addressed, but a light hand usually works best. Treat it like backstory: leave it to a sentence or two here and there. The reader will do the rest.

*Sadly, in many instances (especially for non-white trans women) this situation is deadly. Please be careful how you approach this so that you’re not accidentally promoting transphobia. The only exception would be if you are writing a transphobic character.

Is there anything you feel I’ve left out? How would you handle writing a non-binary, trans or gender-queer character? Have you ever written one? If you haven’t, would you consider it?

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Characters · lgbt · mogai · Uncategorized · writing

Going Over the Rainbow: The Gender Divide

November 29, 2015November 29, 2015 Bran Lindy AyresLeave a comment

Most of us go through life never thinking much about our gender or how we express it. We might feel it is something we were born with, something absolute and immutable. We might think there are only two genders and that we are one or the other.

‘But aren’t there only two genders?’ I hear you asking.

Nope. Male and female are only two ends of a vast spectrum. Also it helps not to confuse gender with sex. Sex is biology/physiology and even then there are intersex persons whose bodies are not clearly one or the other.

“When we think of gender, we often think of male or female; that’s only half of understanding gender. The denotations of male and female actually refer to biological and physiological sex. Gender is a sociological construct of values, ideals, and behaviors about what it means to be either male or female, and are often regarded in terms of masculine or feminine, respectively. Many people use sex and gender interchangeably, but one does not have to be male to identify as masculine, and vice versa.”

-Boundless. “Context of Culture and Gender.” Boundless Communications. Boundless, 21 Jul. 2015.

In addition to exploring the sexual orientations in the coming months we’ll be looking at different gender identities . We’ll discuss gender identity and expression and how you can use these to make your characters more diverse.

‘Why? Can’t I just have my character be male or female?’ You ask.

Of course you can but you’re here so you’re obviously interested in being more diverse in your writing.

The Culture of Gender

Ripley, the main character in Alien originally was to be male.

Have you ever thought about how your favorite book or movie might have been different if the main character had been a different gender? What would have made it different? Why?

In our society (I’m speaking as someone who lives in the US) identifying as male or female comes with a host of gender specific expectations: men are macho, women are feminine, men don’t cry, women are emotionally compromised, men like cars, women like shoes, ad nauseam. These gender stereotypes are social constructs and have little basis in biology or psychology.

“Gender theorists point to the variations in gender roles observed among different cultures in arguing that gender – our masculinity or femininity – is a social construct rather than an innate biological characteristic. Because there is no universal “right” way to be a man or a woman, they argue that our ways of “doing gender” are shaped by social cues and influences.”

–Dr. Abby Palko

This is why we as writers need to be more cognizant of the variety around us. Challenging these stereotypes can help us broaden our social consciousness and that of our readers.

‘But why should I worry about gender when I only write men or women?’ You wonder.

Because even cisgendered persons, or persons whose gender identity aligns with their gender assigned at birth, are impacted by society’s gender culture and expected to conform to certain norms. It’s not enough to throw a bunch of ‘masculine’ traits into a character’s personality and call her a ‘strong’ female. And conversely taking a female character and switching to masculine pronouns won’t give you the sensitive male you are looking for. They each will have skin-deep traits and no real depth to them.

Sex and Gender: A Cross Cultural Perspective

It’s my hope that you’ll find the following articles interesting and maybe a little enlightening as we study the wide variation of genders and sexualities and how we can accurately write these identities.

If you enjoyed this and would like access to additional content, please consider supporting me on Patreon.

Do you struggle writing a certain gender? Why do you feel that is the case? Have you ever written a character and then decided to change their gender? What prompted the change and how do you feel it turned out?

Characters

Transformers, Sex and Why Science Fiction is Socially Relevant

February 7, 2013 Bran Lindy Ayres3 Comments

The Role of Science Fiction in Literature

I’ve been reading science fiction since I was very young. I honestly don’t even remember the first sci-fi book I read. I do remember the first one that made a huge impact on me. It was a short story by Ray Bradbury called All Summer in a Day. After that I couldn’t get enough. Somewhere along the way I read I, Robot and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Phillip K. Dick and realized that science fiction wasn’t just great stories. It was a commentary on our society and our place in that society. The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge further cemented this in my mind. Then I read Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. My whole perception of myself and my world view changed with that one book. It was profound thing for a young preteen to realize that other people, other beings, even those vastly different could have the same emotions. They might not be expressed the same way or be overtly recognizable as such but they were there if you kept an open mind.

In the years since, I have read much science fiction. Some of it was just fun others of it required a more cerebral approach. I also expanded my reading selection to include literary novels, mysteries and non fiction. I discovered something.

Science fiction is our modern day fairy tale.

Its the morality story, the cautionary tale. It serves as both entertainment, enlightenment and instruction. It takes a social problem, stigma or perception and shines the light of truth on it in a way that is not always obvious. Now this is not true of all science fiction. Not every novel can be The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood) or Flowers for Algernon (Daniel Keyes).

Transformers, Sex and Intimacy

I was recently introduced to the IDW Publishing line of Transformer’s comics. Among them was the title More Than Meets The Eye, written by James Roberts. At first I was put off, nearly incensed by the story line, but I set aside my prejudices and allowed myself to be caught up in the story. I would have deprived myself of so much, had I not.

The way Roberts writes these characters is fantastic. As good as any of the sci-fi novel’s I’ve mentioned. The stories are in turn funny and poignant and at times down right sad. The issue that came out yesterday encapsulated all of that.

Issue #13 brought up some interesting discussions among fans about gender roles, sexuality and what makes a character identify ‘male’ or ‘female’ when their species has no gender bias. The interpersonal relationships have been expanded upon in ways that I had only ever seen in fan fiction. He treats these giant non-organic lifeforms as if they are actually people and not just giant weaponized automatons.

It is these relationships that intrigue me. Much is implied, and in issue #12 it was even stated that they have a relationship status called conjunx endura that is sealed by a ceremony involving the two ‘bots in question. Yet they are an alien race. They do not have genders or a need for genders of any kind. What they do have is a basic need for intimacy as any intelligent life does. Intimacy does not have to equal sex. Being intimate can be as simple as holding hands or as complex as taking care of someone with a chronic illness. Both require trust, commitment and love.

This point was eloquently stated in the latest post by DorkDaddy.com entitled: It’s Just Sex, Dammit!

“There are a thousand things necessary for a successful day and a successful life. Balancing the checkbook. Reading to the kids. Visiting your parents. Maintenance on the house. Laughing. Resting. Playing. Growing. Learning. These are the things of life. These are the things that determine whether we are fulfilled, whether we are successful in life. None of them require intercourse. And yet still we venerate sex as the ultimate goal in life, as if everything else is just a way of occupying time between sexual interludes. We high-five our friends when they “got lucky” or “got some” or “got some action” as if to say “Well done. You got that taken care of. Now you can move on to all the other stuff.”

Granted, there is no better way to foster intimacy with your partner than sex. It connects you and makes you vulnerable and draws you together with another person like no other way can. But when considering intimacy, it isn’t even necessary for that (blasphemy, I know). Imagine the potency of your partner gently running her fingers through your hair, or down your back. Picture those moments when you’re lost, looking into your partner’s eyes, and neither of you has to say anything. Think for a moment on the lasting rewards of gently holding hands, or on the way you can totally lose yourself in a deep, committed kiss. These too are the things of intimacy. Because of them, even if you never knew sex, surely you could still know intimacy.”

This is what I find so fascinating about this comic and the way Mr. Roberts has written these characters. They are realistic, deeply thought out and interesting. I care about them. I relate to their struggles, their insecurities, their quirks in ways I have never related to ‘human’ characters. They allow us to explore relationship dynamics without the added pressure of sex. There is no sex for the sake of intimacy. The intimacy comes from other means but is no less potent.

The Wordsmiths Forge on Livejournal lists multiple ways of displaying non-sexual intimacy. Among the things she lists are personal care, spacial closeness including sharing the same sleeping space. Living arrangements which include a measure of trust involved such as sharing passwords, bank accounts and/or living quarters and cleaning someone else’s room. She also talks about urgent situations up to and including risking your life or making medical decisions for someone.

Each of these things have been featured in the comic.

Comradewodka on Tumblr had some interesting things to say about the ‘married’ couple in the comic:

” . . . Chromedome and Rewind. I’m not sure what I could say about them that hasn’t been said, so— let me just say this. Any sentient race, regardless of whether they’re mechanical or actually capable of anything sexual or not, is going to feel emotions and form relationships, even to the point that they feel romantically about someone. Even to the point that they want to spend the rest of their lives with that someone. Every sentient race, if they find something pleasurable in life—even if that something is as innocent (and non-sexual by our standards) as fond, platonic or romantic touches—is going to seek out that pleasurable something with others. It’s biology.

Chromedome and Rewind aren’t “male”. They don’t have genders. They’re not unusual in considering each other “spouses” either, if everyone else’s reactions are any indication. But to a whole heck of a lot of people, they LOOK “gay”—and sometimes it’s almost easier for us humans to refer to them that way—so them being canonically in a romantic relationship isn’t just a big step for a franchise in which we’ve generally been given a grand zipola about how relationships work, it’s a big step for comics and media in general. One more pebble on the pile of change.

That being said, though I and many others really freaking appreciate Chromedome and Rewind for a number of reasons, I don’t think Roberts had some big overt gay rights agenda when writing them. Which brings me back to my main point— that he’s just THAT good at writing them as what they are—fully fleshed out characters that just happen to be giant gender-less robots. So they happen to look kind of masculine by human standards? Roberts don’t care. Roberts don’t give a fuck. He just write what he wants.”

-(http://comradewodka.tumblr.com/post/42373291213/did-someone-ask-for-a-big-post-gushing-over-gender)

Are all Robots Male?

She made a good point. Just because something ‘looks’ male in our perception does that mean it is male? Some fans had their worlds turned upside down by the appearance of holomatter forms of the Transformers. It was stated that these new forms were an exact representation of the robot’s psyche. So in other words, the human forms the program assigned them was based on their personality. Not all of them identified as male or even adult. Tailgate was an infant being carried around in a backpack by Swerve.

Comradewodka on Tumblr made some excellent observations on this subject as well:

“Yeah, most of them have features we associate with masculinity, and that’s fine and dandy, but they actually do not fall into any kind of gendered roles in their culture.

So why the hell CAN’T big warriors like Ultra Magnus or Whirl relate or identify, psychologically speaking, with representation as a human female—just so long as that human female still accurately represents who they are as a character?

Answer: there’s absolutely no reason why they couldn’t. They’re a blank slate, gender-wise. They can have the biggest most “masculine” bodies ever, be called “he”, have what I assume to be masculine voices and features, and still feel like a human female body is a more accurate representation of their psyche.”

Assigning gender roles to gender-less species is like saying pink is feminine. Pink is pink it has no gender. A hundred years ago women would never wear pink. Men did. Pink is a color that societal norms have shifted into a different perception. The terms male and female differentiate sexual reproduction roles. They do not apply to colors any more than they apply to a species that does not reproduce sexually.

The fact that giant robots might see themselves as better represented by a human female form should say a lot. I will leave that topic for my next post.

This is why I love science fiction so much. It allows us to explore themes that would be and are taboo in other forms of writing and it does so in a way that is digest able for the larger audience. It illuminates aspects of society that might otherwise go unnoticed and in doing so educates us about being human. Yes, we can learn from giant alien robots how to be more human.