writing gay characters – Bran Lindy Ayres

GoingOver theRainbow (1)

With the end of a tumultuous and tragic Pride month there are more concerns than ever about how gay men are represented in media. So how can you, as a responsible author, help dispel many of the harmful stereotypes that lead people to commit horrible atrocities? By accurately and sensitively writing gay men. Please allow me to offer a few words of advice on this.

Gay/Homosexual Male: A man who is primarily attracted to other men to the exclusion of other genders.

Developing a Gay Character

So, how might you go about creating your own gay character? These questions might help you discover why your character has chosen this identity for themselves and how it impacts their life and relationships.

How do other characters react to your character’s orientation? How does your character react/respond to these reactions?
How does the society in your story react to gays? How does this affect your character? What assumptions do others have about gays/your character?
When did/will your character realize that they were attracted to males? How does/will your character think/feel about this? Is the realization because of a specific event, a gradual understanding/coming to terms, etc?
How does your character express their gender, whether by choice/effort or naturally, in terms of presenting, passing, self-image and comfort? Do they express their gender a certain way in the hopes of finding other gay men?
How does your character tell people about being a gay man (if they tell people at all)? If their coming out to their parents had a negative impact has this changed how they approach others about the subject?

Writing a Gay Character

As with writing any character, their sexuality is just one part of their whole identity. When writing your gay character here are a few things to keep in mind:

You can have your character specifically state they are gay. This will help the reader understand where your character is coming from. Having other characters react and ask questions will help mitigate an info dump. Many readers will reject a queer coded character unless it is specifically stated, but this is your decision to make.
Before writing a coming out story think carefully about whether or not this is your story to tell. Every person’s story is different and if you yourself are not a gay man this might not be your story to tell.
Do let your character have close intimate non-sexual/non-romantic relationships with characters of all genders. Being gay doesn’t mean your character will be attracted to every man they meet. Be clear on character intent and watch wording to avoid confusing your reader.
Try to avoid making your character gay simply as a plot device. It should be an integral part of who they are, not a quirk.
It might be best to avoid having them be a so-called ‘flaming gay’ as this can perpetuate harmful attitudes toward femininity and can promote the idea that gay men want to be women. If you choose to write a such a character please be careful of using feminine stereotypes for their characterization.
Be very careful about having your gay character die, suffer tragedy or mental illness as this is an incredibly harmful trope and should be handled with the utmost care.
Be mindful of the character’s ‘gaze’ or how they describe other characters as they can end up seemingly sexually attracted to people you didn’t intend and can lead to reader confusion as to their sexuality.

Things to keep in mind:

Gay men are increasingly the subject of queer experience appropriation, infantilization and fetishization in stories. The popularity of the ‘slash’ (M/M) genre has perpetuated some very harmful stereotypes, tropes and the continued fetishizing of gay relationships. It has also led to the stereotype of white cis-gendered gay men being the default ‘gay’ seen in media. This excludes gay men of other races and gay trans men. Please always keep in mind you are writing a person, not an orientation.

Tropes:

Tropes are tropes for a reason and most of these are not bad in and of themselves, however like a lot of tropes they often perpetuate harmful stereotypes and thus should be used cautiously. Some of these are problematic in and of themselves and should not be used without extreme caution and sensitivity. These tropes are marked with an asterisk.

Gays in Fiction

Gay men have been written about since the 1st Century and have been a constant fixture in human society all through the ages. A list of books featuring appropriate and accurate representation of gay men is a subject for debate.

Where We Are on TV 11

Lists of LGBT Fictional Characters

Famous Gay Men in History

Baron Friedrich Wilhelm von Steuben

Babur

William Lygon, 7th Earl Beauchamp

Cyrano de Bergerac

Leonard Bernstein

Marlon Brando

Ferdinand I of Bulgaria

Caligula

Jean Jacques Régis de Cambacérès

Truman Capote

Giacomo Casanova

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

Tennessee Williams

Growing up in small towns in the middle of the Midwest, I didn’t get much exposure to people of other races. There was not a single African American at the school I went to and only one person of mixed race. I also had no exposure to people who identified as different sexual orientations or gender identities. This meant I felt horribly out of place growing up. I was just weird. It’s taken twenty years, but I’ve finally found where I fit and understand myself. I’ve also learned a lot about others along the way.

Last month Jami Gold brought up the subject of diversity on her blog. Diversity is a huge topic right now, and it should be. We need more diversity in every genre. And by diversity I don’t just mean racially, but sexual orientation, gender identity, neurodivergence, physical ability, all of it. However, we need to when and how to add it so it fits and doesn’t feel tacked on. There is no quota, only authenticity.

This is a good thing when it comes to our characters, especially for characters with diverse elements, as there’s no definitive black, gay, disabled, whatever experience, and therefore there’s no “one right way” to portray those characters. There are, however, wrong ways to portray diversity.—Jami Gold, Writing Diversity: How Can We Avoid Issues?

In a follow up post, Jami also touched on research and being aware of the source of our information. There are plenty of resources on the internet but we need to be aware of who is supplying them and if they are actually part of the segment of the population they are writing about. This can make all the difference in whether or not our portrayal is authentic or othering.

Some stories simply are not ours to write.

Obviously, the most helpful thing we can do to support diversity within the publishing industry is to buy and help promote books from diverse authors. As I mentioned last time, there might be some stories that aren’t ours to tell, so we also need to encourage the success of those authors who can tell those stories.—Jami Gold, Digging into Research: Consider the Source

I write stories with queer* characters and yes many of them are not white, but their race and queerness is part of who they are and the stories are not about either. As a white person it is not my place to write a story about race or racism. It might happen in my stories, but it won’t be the focus because I have never had to deal with it the way so many others do. I cannot and will not write something when I know it is a subject that does not belong to me. No amount of creativity can replace experience with something like this.

And that leads me to the point of this post. As a queer person I have noticed a lot of authors struggling to write authentically queer characters. The gay romance genre is stuck in the m/m cis white male, coming out trope (not that there is anything wrong with the trope, but … diversity would be nice ^^). That is only one small part of the entire spectrum. The rainbow flag is not the only flag out there. Whether you write romance or not, adding other orientations can only enrich your writing. When done properly.

Over the next several months I will be exploring each of the various sexual orientations and gender identities in an effort to help my fellow authors write with more diversity. I will be inviting people of other orientations and gender identities to offer their advice and experiences as well. I sincerely hope you find this of value and please feel free to ask questions.

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As always your comments and questions are welcomed below.

*As someone who identifies as nonbinary and panromantic demisxual, I am comfortable using the term queer when describing myself or my characters. I am aware that many in the community still feel this is an insult. If you do not identify as part of the spectrum, please refrain from using the term.

Tag: writing gay characters

Going Over the Rainbow: Gay Male Characters