excerpt · gay romance · lgbt · mogai · short story

Just Your Average Everyday Romance

Yes, it’s Upworthy. Chill. I liked this because this is exactly why I am writing stuff like The Jeweled Dagger and The Silver Peacock series. I want to read about people like me and I know there are a lot of us out there who want the same.

We deserve amazing adventures featuring characters who are as real and vibrant as we are.

I’m very excited about both The Jeweled Dagger and The Silver Peacock. Each feature a broad spectrum of orientations and gender identities but that’s not the sole focus. There are plenty of literary novels that splendidly detail the struggles of being different. No, my books are entertainment that just happens to feature characters who are not heterosexual or even cisgender.

If you are interested you can read the first in The Silver Peacock series for only $0.99 on Kindle, or support me for as little as $1 a month on Patreon and get access to all kinds of freebies and exclusive content.

Here is a sneak peek at part of a scene from Chapter 16 of The Jeweled Dagger.


“It’s not polite to eavesdrop on private conversations.”

Genevieve jumped at the voice in her ear and turned. Roderick smirked at her and Genevieve wished she could slap it off his face. As much as she wanted to she couldn’t just deck the man and leave. She couldn’t afford the scandal that would cause. It had taken her years to gain the standing she had at Court as the Marchioness. One mistake and it would all be for nothing. Her stomach tightened uncomfortably at the thought of playing along with Roderick’s delusion. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d used someone’s romantic interest in her to gain access to information. It just wasn’t something she generally found pleasant.

No. She couldn’t, not with Roderick. Not only was the risk too great, she simply couldn’t. She did many terrible things, things that seared her conscience and gave her nightmares, but she drew the line at this. She’d kill the man before willingly leading Roderick on. Galey had taught her just how quickly things could spiral out of control. Right now she needed to regain command of the situation.

“I don’t know what you are referring to. I am simply enjoying a quiet moment to refresh myself.” Genevieve was glad she still had her drink. The suspicious look didn’t leave Roderick’s eyes.

“Come walk with me. There are some things I wish to discuss.”

asexual · mogai · short story · writing

Free Comic Book Day Fun and a New Series

Silver Peacock Pearl

Yesterday I had the very fun priviledge of being a guest artist at a local comic book shop for Free Comic Book Day. I don’t often get a chance to talk with prospective readers … or people in general, so yesterday was a bit out of my comfort zone. That being said, I had a fabulous time. The local graphic artist I sat beside was not only talented but very interesting to talk to as well. Our range of subjects was pretty intense, from art and what it means to be an artist, to feminism and religion all the way to video games. It was fabulous and I plan to keep in contact with him. I also had the chance to meet a couple of people from the community, in particular one lovely young trans woman. We got to talking and I told her about my new series The Silver Peacock and how it will explore the whole spectrum of gender and orientation. To see her face light up when I told her there were trans men and women in the stories made my day.

This is one big reason why I am writing these stories. Not only do I love the characters and all their quirks, I know there are people out there who have never read a story with a character like themselves. My greatest hope is that people will read these and not only be entertained but find characters who they can relate with.

With that I’d like to introduce the first of the series: Pearl. Below is a short excerpt. You can find the full novella on Amazon for Kindle.

Pearl stared up at the dilapidated building. The three story house had once been grand, the fluted columns and ornate shutters on the large windows spoke to that. But like a once popular courtesan the years had done their damage; weathered wood showed under peeling paint, shutters hung from rusted hinges and only a few windows still had any glass. In some ways it reminded her of the woman waiting next to her. At one time beautiful and popular, now faded and clinging to the past.

“Just how old is this dump?” She turned to look at Evel Jorde. Her mother was tall and imposing. The years were just starting to settle over her, a spider’s web of fine lines showing around her eyes and mouth, the once white-blonde hair now more snowy than golden. The dress was carefully chosen to complement her coloring and enhance the slender figure. Pearl had her mother’s height, blonde hair and the same slim build but so far little of her ruthlessness, or so she liked to think.

My other short story The Regular is also available on Kindle.

The Regular Cover

gay romance · mogai · short story

New Short Story: The Regular

The Regular Cover

Read the latest short story by Bran Lindy Ayres, available on Amazon for Kindle.

All Gentry Devlin wants is to bartend and flirt with the gorgeous bouncer, but some people won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Support me on Patreon for exclusive content, free books, invitations to private events and many other perks! Help me reach my goals to educate and inform my local community.

Books · gay romance

The Jeweled Dagger: Excerpt

If you like steampunk, adventure, conspiracies and grand masquerades along with technologically progressive lesbian queens, nonbinary spies and gay soldiers then my current WIP The Jeweled Dagger is probably right up your alley. Below is the introduction to Lafayette Goddard, one of the main characters.


The clang reverberated through the cell block, jolting Lafayette from where he sat leaning up against the bars of his cell. The movement set off a riot of aches and he gritted his teeth. Even as exhausted as he was sleep had been impossible with the stench, the pain, and the frustration. Blinking grit out of his eyes he reached up to pull his hair out of the way and winced as his shoulder protested. Getting slammed to the ground twice by that cretin after running all the way from the harbor made moving difficult. He should never have taken the shortcut through the garden. But he hadn’t been thinking clearly. He had only slept a handful of hours during the two days stowed away on the ship crossing the strait after running for his life in Galey. This week was becoming a string of miscalculations and bad decisions. Getting his papers stolen hadn’t even been the least of his problems.

If only he’d recognized the Captain’s uniform first off and not overreacted. He’d spent too long in Galey jumping at shadows. He was certain those same shadows had followed him back to Orandon. He lifted his head, peering down the corridor as footsteps echoed. It must be morning. His message was too late. He’d failed Rona and who knew what might happen now. He narrowed his eyes as the tall, dark haired Captain walked into view. The intent brown eyes regarded him for a long moment but his face remained impassive and Lafayette couldn’t discern what the man might be thinking.

“Get up.” The Captain man turned away and took the set of keys off his belt along with a pair of cuffs. “I’ll take you to the Queen.”

Characters · Uncategorized · Writing FUNdamentals

Complex Plotting: It’s Complicated

I recently stumbled across a post on Tumblr claiming that it is possible to write up a complex plot in a single day.

So can you?

Short answer. No.

A truly complex and layered plot is not something you can whip up in a day of brainstorming. What you can come up with is a premise and basic plot arc. Notice I said basic.

So what makes a plot complex? Adding more characters? Adding more events? More conflict? More themes?

Yes. All of the above. You cannot just throw one element at a plot in multitudes and expect the plot to suddenly seem complex. More than likely it will just be confusing. A truly complex plot is a careful balance of theme, character, subplot, subtext, narrative arc and premise. A truly complex plot has layers and those layers can’t just lay on top of each other, they have to connect and be intertwined and relate back to each other in every way relevant to the main story arc.

Does it sound hard? Good. It is. Writing is work. Get used to it.

What is your premise and basic plot? Pick your plot. I recommend just pulling one from this list. No plots are “original” so making yours interesting and complicated will easily distract from that fact, that and interesting characters. Characters will be something for you to work on another day, because this is plotting day. You’ll want the main plot to be fairly straight forward, because a confusing main plot will doom you if you want subplots.

Plot is something happening to someone. Without the someone to react to the something there is no plot. You need to know today who this stuff is happening to or you don’t have a plot. The 36 Dramatic Situations is a nice jumping off point. Having a complicated main plot isn’t going to hurt anything as long as you can sum it up in one sentence. More importantly in order to pull off a complicated main plot you need to know intimately WHO this happens to and why. Don’t be afraid to mix and match the 36 Dramatic Situations to come up with something unique.

Decide who the characters will be. They don’t have to have names at this point. You don’t even need to know who they are other than why they have to be in the story. The more characters there are the more complicated the plot will be. If you intend to have more than one subplot, then you’ll want more characters. Multiple interconnected subplots will give the illusion that the story is very complicated and will give the reader a lot of different things to look at at all times. It also gives you the chance to develop many side characters. The plot I worked out yesterday had 13 characters, all were necessary. Decide their “roles” don’t bother with much else. This seems shallow, but this is plot. Plot is shallow.

Now, decide what drives each character. Why specifically are they in this story? You can make this up. You don’t even know these characters yet. Just so long as everyone has their own motivations, you’re in the clear.

More characters doesn’t always equal a more complex plot. You can have as few as two named characters and have a complex plot. It depends on who they are and what they are doing. It is crucial to know why the character is doing what they are doing in the story. Having multiple interconnecting subplots is one way to create depth to the story, but if they are there just to give the illusion of substance then they are superfluous and should be cut. Deciding a character’s role in the plot is crucial as is their personality and how they are going to act and react to the events of the plot. They are what drives the plot forward so you have to know them and what is going to motivate them beyond their perceived ‘role’ in the narrative.

Shallow plots are boring plots. Dig deeper. Find that core. Find the true motivation for your character and why they are in this situation. True complexity will flow from how well you’ve crafted your character and how three dimensional you have made them.

What aren’t these characters giving away right off the bat? Give them a secret! It doesn’t have to be something that they are actively lying about or trying to hide, just find something that perhaps ties them into the plot or subplot. This is a moment to dig into subplot. This does not need to be at all connected to their drive to be present in the story.  Decide who is in love with who, what did this person do in the 70’s that’s coming back to bite them today, and what continues to haunt what-his-face to this very day. This is where you start to see the characters take shape. Don’t worry much about who they are or what they look like, just focus on what they’re doing to the story.

Backstory and character motivation are as inseparable as character and plot. Their actions, reactions and motivations are going to decide where the plot goes. Their ‘secret’ might work better as a backstory wound that affects how they deal with the events of the story. It must absolutely tie into the plot and maybe even a couple of sub plots. Otherwise it’s going to seem cheap and tacked on and your reader will feel cheated.

If a subplot doesn’t directly relate to the main characters or the main plot arc in some way, cut it. It should either emphasize the theme, help with characterization, mirror the main arc or in some other way enhance the narrative. Anything else is useless drivel. Don’t just throw in a random sub plot because you think it makes the plot more complicated. It doesn’t.

What is going to change these characters? Now this will take some thinking. Everyone wants at least a few of the characters to come out changed by the end of the story, so think, how will they be different as a result of the plot/subplot? It might not be plot that changes them, but if you have a lot of characters, a few changes that are worked into the bones of the plot might help you.

If this happens to one of the main characters it is known as the character arc and is often a sub plot of the main narrative. It will be important to fully understand your character’s motivation and backstory to fully realize what changes about them and why and how it relates to the main or sub plots.

Now list out the major events of the novel with subplot in chronological order. This will be your timeline. Especially list the historical things that you want to exist in backstory. List everything you can think of. Think about where the story is going. At this point, you likely haven’t focused too much on the main plot, yeah, it’s there, but now really focus on the rising actions, how this main plot builds its conflict, then the climactic moment. Make sure you get all of that in there. This might take a few hours.

A synopsis is worth having with a complex plot and multiple subplots. It will be crucial to have the outline to know if you have hit all the major plot points. I highly recommend using Jami Gold’s Beat Sheets to help with this. This part of planning a novel will likely take a few days if you put any real effort into it and things will probably need to be reworked multiple times.

Decide where to start writing. This part will take a LOT of thinking. It’s hard! But now that you’ve got the timeline, pick an interesting point to begin at. Something with action. Something relevant. Preferably not at the beginning of your timeline – you want to have huge reveals later on where these important things that happened prior are exposed. This is the point where you think about what information should come out when. This will be a revision of your last list, except instead of being chronological, it exists to build tension.

The opening scene of the novel must grab the reader and throw them into the middle of the action. If you are using the beat sheets you will see where you need to start, somewhere just before everything changes for the main character.

Once you’ve gotten the second list done, you’ve got a plot. Does it need work? Probably. But with that said, at this point you probably have no idea who half your characters are. Save that for tomorrow, that too will be a lot of work.

If you don’t have a very, very good idea who your characters are by now you need to go back and fix that.  Ideally take a day to figure out your premise and theme or themes, then spend another few days figuring who your characters should be and ways to make them unique, then spend a week or four figuring out what all happens when and why.

I highly recommend using the Positive and Negative Character Trait Thesauri  by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi to begin crafting your characters.

PA Framed1NT

A basic straightforward plot can be easily done in a day. However do not expect to plan a complex novel with multiple characters, themes and subplots in a day. You’ll end up with a tangled mess that will be a chore to write and even worse to read.

More recommended reading:

write from the middlec&S  outlining your novel self-editing savethecat 1ET

Characters · Fandoms · video games

Thief Scene Breakdown Prologue: The Drop

Video games are a unique medium. They combine the storytelling of a novel and the look of a movie with the ability to interact with the character and story line. This makes for a unique challenge for the creators. Not only must the characters be compelling and the story line exciting but it has to challenge the player with ever more difficult levels and puzzles. Finding the right balance is difficult at best.  With the advances in technology the new ‘next gen’ games not only have better graphics, but increased levels of storytelling. Titles like The Last of Us, The Witcher, Bioshock Infinite, Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag and Tomb Raider were all contenders last year for the VGX awards and BAFTA Games featured complex characters and memorable characters. This doesn’t happen by accident.

Since Jan 1 there have been approximately 159 games released among them titles like:

Thief (Xbox One, PS4, 360, PS3, PC) – February 25
Titanfall (Xbox One, PC) – March 11
Infamous: Second Son (PS4) – March 21
Child of Light (PS4, Xbox One, Wii U, PS3, 360, PC) – April 30
Watch Dogs (Xbox One, 360, PS4, PS3, PC) – May 27
Murdered: Soul Suspect (PS4, Xbox One, PS3, 360, PC) – June 3

Thief was one of the more highly anticipated releases, being the reboot of a classic and one of the few games available on the new consoles. Early buzz was all over the place and reviews continue to be such though the majority are now leaning toward positive.  The rest of this article will not be spoiler free so please read no further if you have not played the game and do not wish to be spoiled as to the plot.
Something many reviewers and players have complained about is the difficulty in understanding the plot of the game and relating to the main character, Garrett. Something this game has done differently is spread out the story line over various media. Reading the prequel comics is nearly essential to understanding the relationship between Garrett and his apprentice Erin. Even so, it is not crucial to playing the game. However, if you truly want to achieve Master Thief status in the game it’s highly recommended that you read every thing you come across. As for relating to Garrett, I will be honest with you, a lot of you simply won’t. Garrett is a very quiet, introverted and private person. However, if you give him a chance you will see a very deep thinking, intelligent and witty man.
What we are going to look at now is each of the cut scenes in an effort to not only disect the plot but to understand Garrett better. One of the key things about Garrett; you must watch his face. He doesn’t speak much and communicates mostly through facial expression and his eyes. And this is what makes me personally so excited about next gen games. This level of detail in the graphics opens up so much more story telling wise. Before a character like Garrett, who doesn’t speak much was difficult to get to know, though Garrett Sr (as he’s affectionately known in fandom) was/and is much beloved. With the new graphics characters who are quieter and communicate more through body language and facial expression will hopefully become more common since not all of us are tall, broad-shouldered, sandy headed extroverts.
This analysis was conducted in partnership with my dear friend Jean M. who has played Thief for many hours and has joined me for much discussion of the game.

Scene Breakdown

 

Prologue: The Drop

Location: Unnamed Building along the Thieves’ Highway

Scene: Garrett and Erin have been looking for information on the location of the Primal Stone Basso’s client wants. In this scene they’ve just discovered a clue to its location and a short conversation ensues.

Jean: Up until the point where Erin laughs, she sounds uncertain – almost like a little girl playing games. Thieving is a game to her. Right up until the point where she see’s Garrett’s face, she’s playing a game of “I can steal more than you”. Except that when Garrett shows up, she can see that he’s refusing to play. I imagine that would make her feel embarrassed. I suspect seeing him reminds her of her shortcomings. I get the impression that she rejects Garrett’s idealistic perfection, not because she doesn’t value it, but because she’s too impulsive and too impatient to be able to mimic it. And looking at him reminds her of what she can’t be.

Davonne: What she doesn’t know is that while she pilfered the obvious chest, Garrett found the hidden safe and valuable ring and necklace inside (This is achieved in game, there is a hidden switch that reveals the cache). He might be slower but he’s also more thorough and more cautious.

Jean: I’m interested in why Garrett’s first appearance at the top of the stairs is of him facing back down them. Was he having second thoughts about taking part at all? I see a mask of indifference. It’s been a while since he last saw her, so given that he has always cared to a certain extent (as he admitted in the final cut scene) it has to be good on a certain level to get to see her, even if he has no wish to work with her. There’s reluctance to get involved with her, but it’s muted because he’s playing nice for Basso’s sake. Although it’s impossible to resist the temptation to play the teacher and lecture her a bit.

Davonne: He’s in full on thief mode complete with mask. He seems to be checking to make sure no one was alerted by all the noise Erin made.

Jean: Erin still doesn’t sound like she’s taking the job seriously. She’s waving the particulars sheet around like it’s some kind of trophy that she gets to read and he doesn’t. There’s an odd edge of almost laughter in her voice. She’s enjoying this, and enjoying the idea of working with him. Waving around the sheet of paper means that Garrett can’t ditch her and do the job solo, because she’s the only one who knows what the job is. It’s not so much about independence, but more about wanting him to admit that she’s as good as he is.

Davonne: The way she keeps the paper from him…it’s a control gesture. I think it might also be her trying get him to see her as being at his level that she’s in control of the situation.

 photo 4.gif

Jean: Garrett’s getting increasingly frustrated and annoyed with Erin. He turned up for a serious job, and she’s playing control games and making fun of his profession. After all, we know that thieving isn’t just his job, it’s his whole life. She’s playing games, but from his point of view she’s laughing at him. The confident mask is still up. This is the Master Thief we’re watching. Garrett the person is somewhere safely buried.

Davonne: I find it interesting how confidently he holds himself. Even though he’s irritated with Erin he’s still very much in control of himself and the mask is firmly in place.  Her dropping the paper out the window with that head tilt is a clear challenge. It’s almost antagonistic. She’s having fun with this but also wants to appear to be in control. Dropping the letter prevents Garrett from having access to the information and as Jean said, it plants her solidly as the one in control, the one who Garrett needs, not the other way around.

 photo 5-1.gif

Jean: More of the same, although the glance down suggests to me that he’s started thinking about all the various things that could go wrong. Possibly starting to formulate plans on how to cope with them.

Davonne: yes I think so, and the look of irritation as he turns to face Erin. I agree that he’s beginning to get worried. Not only is the Baron’s mansion sure to be heavily guarded he’s probably worried about Erin’s attitude toward the whole thing as well. This is not a job to take lightly and he knows it and as stated earlier this is all just a game to her. A fun distraction not a potentially life and death situation.

 photo 6.gif

Jean: Erin stares at Garrett for a few seconds before responding. She’s looking for something. I think she’s starting to realize that things are more serious than she’s acknowledging, but she’s not ready to admit it. So she makes light of it instead by asking him if he’s worried – if he admits to being worried, then he must be admitting that he’s not as good as she is, because he doesn’t think he can do it. It’s a tense mixture of wanting his approval, wanting to needle him, wanting him to take her seriously, but hiding it by refusing to take him seriously.

I’m reminded of the comparisons we often draw between Garrett Sr and Garrett Jr – how he’s all about the challenge, and about pushing himself to match the idealized perfect thief, and the accompanying fear of failure and goes alongside it. Erin’s the same, only she’s not able to focus enough to keep pushing for perfection, and she’s not comparing herself against an ideal – she’s comparing herself against Garrett. So she gets angry and blames him for it.

Davonne: Lots of internal conflict here. She’s desperate to prove herself without actually appearing to be so. Garrett is less than amused and it’s starting to show. He’s keeping it reined in for the moment. Despite their not having worked together for a while and his disagreement with her choices he does seem to be comfortable with her for the moment. At least more comfortable than we see him with other people except Basso.

 photo 7.gif

Jean: The line “yes and so should you” interests me. Garrett’s tone of voice changes. He’s suddenly no longer a deep bass – his tone rises, and almost softens. He’s trying to persuade her, not order her. Maybe he thinks that by admitting what sounds like a weakness she’ll realize that it’s not a failure to feel worried. But as a tactic it relies too heavily on her still being in the protégée mindset, because to come to that realization that it’s not so bad to admit to worry depends on her believing that he is the ideal to be imitated, including in the admission of worry. That’s why it falls flat as an overture. She’s an independent thief now. She has her own solo jobs. She’s still desperate for his approval, but she no longer uncritically soaks in everything he offers her.

Davonne: That interested me too he’s definitely trying to appeal to her.  He is still very much in the teacher/student role with her while she’s moved on and sees herself as being nearly on par with him.  Why he chooses this particular line and delivers it in such a way is important. There are other ways he could have got the point across but he choose not to adopt the chiding tone from the earlier ‘it’s not what you steal’ line. The inflection also gives away that he really truly is worried, not just saying so for her benefit. This job is potentially dangerous enough that he’s willing to put aside his pride for just a moment to try and make the point clear to her. It’s NOT a game and YES she should be worried.

Jean: The line about “I’ll pick up your slack” suddenly offers what sounds to her like an admission from him that he’s not perfect. Even though he’s never claimed to be or pretended to be perfect, and that being worried about the job would be a good idea. Erin and Garrett are heading off on a joint mission where suddenly she’s the one who knows all the details, where she’s the one who isn’t worried, where she’s the one who is apparently in control. She feels that the dynamic of their former joint missions has changed, and now she’s the one in charge. The protégée is suddenly able to control the master. This is also probably why Erin reacts so badly when Garrett tells her later on in the prologue about how she’s not in control.

Davonne: She does seem to get rather excited in contrast to Garrett’s growing reluctance. It’s probably a rather heady feeling for her to have the Master Thief having to follow her for once. She’s already baited him about being slow, challenged him to a game of who can steal the most and deliberately chose a route that allowed her to show off her particular skill set while forcing him to find his own slower route.

Her ‘we’ll be fine’ sounds overconfident and almost flippant. She’s feeling very in control now especially with Garrett’s admission of being worried. She doesn’t wait for him to follow her and doesn’t even look back as she heads out.

 photo 8.gif

Jean: Throughout the scene, Erin and Garrett are not talking with each other. They’re talking at each other, and neither of them are listening. The scene culminates with the final jab in the conversation being Garrett’s line delivered to the empty air after Erin has already left. She didn’t listen when she was in front of him, so saying his final piece to the empty air after she’s gone is about as effective.

Davonne: This, I think, is indicative of their entire relationship. She listens when it’s convenient or suits her and he doesn’t communicate what he’s actually thinking at least not where she can hear it. He did this several times before the scene.

The whole tone of this scene is one of increasing tension.

Uncategorized

Reaping and Writing the Reaper Series

I want to welcome the amazing Lisa Medley to my blog this week!

Image

 

I’ve been in love with monsters for a long time, since I first started reading Stephen King ages ago. But it was J.R. Ward’s Dark Lover which made me realize monsters in LOVE were even better. That book sent my imagination reeling. I don’t discriminate. I want love for vampires, shifters, witches and of course, reapers.

 While deciding what sort of monsters I wanted to write about, I started with vampires because…well…VAMPIRES.  I didn’t orginally sit down to write a book about reapers. Reapers aren’t sexy. Reapers are death. And skeletal. And…grim. When I gave the first 30K of my first real novel attempt to my BFF, her reply was, “It’s good, but what makes it different?”

Erm, nothing. Same old story. Same old (okay, old but HOT vampires). I was not adding anything new to the species. I needed something fresh. Something that might stand out in a crowded field of paranormal monsters in love.

I chose reapers. There aren’t too many authors out there writing reapers, although it’s growing! I love how we’ve all approached our worldbuilding in such different ways. Once I chose a monster, then I set out to make them better. Still human-looking but human DELUXE! Lots of dark potential there. I sat down and got to work making a world for them to live in, threw in some demons, an evil fallen angel and the Reaper Series was born.

 The dark hero speaks to me, and when I find him in the shadows, it’s my job to bring him into the light, sometimes kicking and screaming. Reading urban fantasy and paranormal romance makes me crave contact with the things that go bump in the night. Don’t fear the reaper, because reapers need love too.

With three completed books in the Reaper Series, which will publish this year, I’m taking a break and my current project is a paranormal ghost romance called Haunt My Heart. It’s a departure from the Reaper Series world and will be a stand-alone book. I project it to be in the 70-80K range. I’m 40K into it, and my ghostly hero has only now made physical contact for the first time. Ghost heroes are…complicated. I can’t wait to see how it plays out.

Image

After Haunt My Heart is finished, then it’s back to the reapers. I have at least seven more characters waiting for their stories to be told.

My writing process is a work in progress itself. The first book I totally pantsed. The second, I collected sticky notes from the nether regions: car, desk, notebooks, bathroom mirror and compiled them into a list. I sorted, shuffled, added, and subtracted until … HOLY COW, I had a plot! Things moved along quickly after that. For my third book I made that plot list FIRST and included a whole bunch of “What if” questions. Then I picked the ones that made sense and worked them into the story. Somehow it all magically tied together all three books. I’m fairly certain most of that was divine intervention.

On Haunt My Heart, I wrote a bona fide five page synopsis. Now at the halfway point, I’ve mostly followed it but discovered I needed to speed up some of the later elements and add a few plot twists to carry it through to the 75-80K I’m shooting for.

 It’s tough when your hero and heroine don’t meet in person until halfway through the book. The good news is they have a lot of ground to make up and this second half is going to smoke.

I write mostly at night after the family has gone to bed. Usually I stay up from 8:30 or 9 p.m. until midnight writing or working on writing related things: blog posts, social media or actual word accumulation on a novel.

 I average about 500 words an hour but strive for 1000. My record was 4,700 in one day. That was epic.  I’m just happy for forward progress. I’m really working to speed up my overall novel completion. The first three books took me six months each to write. If I didn’t have a day job, I could do it in three or less I’m sure. It’s tough juggling all those balls: family, day job, home, writing. But I have a great support group and so far so good.

Keep writing and reap on. 

Image

Characters · Fandoms

When All Else Fails-Improvise

I’m a person of simple tastes. Specific yes, but simple. Engage my mind. Make me feel. And don’t skimp on the aesthetics. Thief delivers on all three. Much like Garrett delivers the (stolen) goods. He doesn’t disappoint and neither does this game.  Mostly. Now, this is not a game play review. There are tons of those. This one is really good and fair and I agree with him on most points.

For my part I did enjoy the game play. I found it absolutely exhilarating. No, what I want to discuss is the story line and characters, which if you are familiar with my blog you will understand. I do love my bad boys. And Garrett is by no means exempt from that category.

Garrett from the game Thief is a child of the shadows.

Thief is a reboot of the original Thief series first released as Thief: The Dark Project in 1998. It became a cult classic and is still regarded as the defining the stealth genre. Thief (2014) was my introduction to the franchise and to Garrett. If you want discussion on how the reboot uses elements of the old games I suggest browsing the forums. I did not play the old games and won’t be discussing anything from them. This is a fresh perspective.

Garrett is a very interesting character. The design alone was enough to get me interested. But we all know how I like my short, dark and lithe. Well, except Loki, but he’s a god so that doesn’t count. And Deadpool is just…Deadpool and I love him for his mind anyway. Anyway, on to the game. There will be major spoilers so read at your own risk. I highly recommend playing the game through spoiler free as it really ups the enjoyment and anticipation factors.  You can get it on virtually every platform known to man. I personally have it both on my computer and my PS3 but I’m obsessive.

A Light in the Dark

The Clock Tower

Video games have the unenviable task of having to be both fun to play but challenging and having an engaging story line and likable characters. As Rhianna Pratchett (who has been involved with hugely successful games like Tomb Raider and Bioshock: Inifnite) took to the forums at escapist to explain just what makes writing games so much more difficult than writing for film or television.

My role is to take what they have, flesh it out and get it working in the game within the boundaries set by the developer – be they time, budget, design etc. What you get to work with can vary depending on how far development has already progressed. There’s likely to be some spine of a story, some levels designed (in Mirror’s Edge’s case a whole game) and often a bit of character work. By and large it’s at least what the developer will have needed for their pitch doc/proof of concept/green light etc. and enough to get folks actually building stuff. The reason I (and other games writers) talk about the need to get writers/narrative designers in earlier is it would make our role a whole lot easier and more satisfying if *we* helped originate this kind of stuff. When you work as a hired-gun, rather than an imbedded writer, that hardly ever happens. Sometimes this is because the devs want to do it themselves, or they don’t know where to find a games writer. Perhaps they’re just not ready yet, or not used to thinking about story and writer at the same time. Often there can be an assumption that the ‘word bits’ are easy, cheap and that can easily be slipped in somewhere down the line. These attitudes unfortunately bypasses the skills that writers/narrative designers have for character and world building. Something that, you’d think, could be pretty useful to the development process. (http://www.blastr.com/2014-3-4/rhianna-pratchett-reveals-why-writing-videogames-harder-any-other-medium?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter)

Fortunately it seems that Thief managed to get a lot right on both accounts. The story line had me playing till 2am three nights in row because I HAD to find out what happened in the next chapter (I don’t play during the day due to having young children). Yes, I enjoyed the game play, pick pocketing, breaking and entering running along the rooftops and various other fun things, but it was the main story line that captivated my interest.  Well, that and Garrett himself. The opening sequence Garret talks about the fact that anything can be bought, even trust. “If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.” But as he says none of that matters because when has he ever paid for anything?

This short monologue foreshadows so much in the game it’s not even funny. Not everything is paid for in coin.  And thus begins the prologue: The Drop. We soon meet Erin, and the reunion is bittersweet. It’s obvious the two of them did not part on the best of terms. The tension is palpable with Erin taunting Garrett in what seems like a sarcastic manner but that actually hides a deep seated anger and resentment towards him. “I can handle myself, okay. I can climb faster, I can move faster…” While Garrett is cautious to the point of being wary, Erin is compulsive and violent. Yet he still feels responsible for her. He cuts in, “You can kill faster, make mistakes faster. I get it. You’re not in control.”

Erin blows him off. “Well that’s why I’m better. Deal with it.” She completely dismisses his concern for her because she feels personally attacked for her lifestyle choices. Her focus is on how much she can steal even trying to make bet on who can take more on their way to the location of their job. When he shows up she makes fun of him for not taking as much as she felt he should have. He responds, “It’s not about how much you steal, but what you steal.” Here again we see the difference in their approach to their ‘trade.’

This becomes starkly evident when Erin kills a guard at the Baron’s mansion. Garrett is furious. He only kills if it’s absolutely necessary and Erin knows this. She retorts that the dead guard won’t wake up to follow their trail. He knows that if they aren’t long gone by the time the guard wakes up something is very, very wrong. That she would even consider that shows him that she doesn’t care that she’s sloppy and that life has little value to her. Garrett is obviously worried it’s going to get her killed. This dialog from him is also a clue to the player on how best to approach game play. Avoid detection and avoid combat unless absolutely necessary. Garrett is not a ninja or assassin, he’s a thief and it very quickly becomes evident that combat is not his forte. Neither should it be.

Then Erin goes and gets herself killed.

At least that’s what Garrett believes when he wakes up after the accident. He quickly realizes that something significant has changed. Upon arriving at the clock tower that he calls home it becomes clear that he’s been gone much longer than he ever considered. This scene tells us a lot about him. He quietly takes in the evidence and then makes a decision. He goes to Basso who confronts him demanding to know where he’s been for the last year. Garrett’s surprise is subtle a look and a shift in his stance, a whole year is just gone and he doesn’t know the answer to the question. Basso is frustrated thinking that Garrett just doesn’t want to say. Garrett asks for a job, most likely wanting Basso to not question him any further.

Next he goes to the Beggar Queen knowing that if anyone has answers she will. She claims not to know everything, only ‘the important things.’ Garrett is visibly unsettled when she asks why he’s there.  He takes a moment to gather himself before facing her to ask what happened to him and Erin. Here is when we see the guilt trickling in. She tells him that they found him after the accident and took him in, healed him but that after a while something began to wake him and so they took him home.  However, it is interesting to note that her account doesn’t quite gel with what we find out later. There is still a lot of missing time between when he was found and when he woke up in the cart. She mentions taking him out of the city to keep him safe. This was a red flag to me. Where did they take him and for how long? There are hints later on but nothing definitive. She tells him that if he wants to know what happened the city itself will tell him. This is another huge hint as to what is actually happening.

The Queen of Beggars herself is a very interesting side character, much like Basso. They feel very real and solid. Their dialog is believable and very well done by their respective voice actors. I personally would like to see more of both if there is another game. There is a lot of untapped potential in both of them. I especially like the concept of the Queen of Beggars. A old blind woman who has coordinated the beggars into what amounts to a spy network. Brilliant.

As Garrett leaves she warns him. “There are worse things in the dark than you.” This is yet another HUGE hint to what’s coming in later chapters.

Getting the ring of the man’s corpse requires a trip to the foundry. The foundry itself was disgusting as is appropriate since it was a holding and processing stage for the cremation of the dead. It didn’t help that I could imagine the smell. The bits of floating ash as well as the piles of it in the tunnels were suitably unsettling considering where the ash came from. The interior gets worse. Bodies are treated like animals for slaughter, hug up on hooks and strung through the foundry till they get to the carters for processing. It’s a revolting and a suitable stage to meet the Thief-Taker General. We last saw him on the roof just before the accident and it seems the unintentional injury Garrett caused has crippled the man. He now has a prosthetic and walks with a cane. He’s driven, greedy and violent; shooting a hapless carter in cold blood. From the other’s dialog it’s a given that he’s violent. They were taking bets on how long it would be until he beat someone again. Though the killing seems to have disturbed them as well. Something is going on, something that has even the General on edge. He finds the ring and takes it. This is our clue that the ring is important. Once the ring is obtained we get further proof it’s important with a short flashback or hallucination. Then it’s a close call with the General.

After getting a message via Jenivere Garrett heads back to Basso’s. There is someone who wants to meet him.  It turns out its the same man whom he stole the ring for. Even Basso speaks highly of Orion letting Garrett know that he respects him as someone who is fomenting change for the City’s oppressed and poor. Normal men like himself and Garrett. “Well, me anyway.” Basso corrects himself with a smirk.

Orion himself is a big bear of a man. He tells Garrett it’s good that he came to which Garret, ever the pragmatist replies, “You’re paying aren’t you.” Garrett takes a moment to look around noting the condition of those Orion is attempting to treat. “Then you’ve bought my attention for now at least.”

It’s easy to see that Orion is a politician at heart, trying to sway Garrett to his side by showing how he’s opposing the Baron’s treatment of people especially those with the gloom. But Garrett’s having none of it. He stays out of politics. Orion states that he realizes Garrett prides himself on being a loner then asks if he really has no stake in what is happening to the people. Garrett doesn’t believe so, he content to continue doing what has always worked for him. Orion asks, “But for how long?”

Garrett is thrown into an aural flashback of the accident and passes out. He’s defensive and on edge when he wakes insisting he’s fine and demanding what Orion wants from him. Once again he doesn’t drink something someone else gives to him. Orion wants a book that just happens to be hidden in the House of Blossoms, an upscale brothel that caters to the elite. He tells Garrett that he doesn’t normally hold with stealing, which gets him a look from Garrett. “A man of politics stealing by proxy. Sounds about right.”

“As right as a thief who steals for a good cause.” Orion retorts with a small smile.

Garret agrees to get the book and Orion assures him that he will be securing a better future for everyone.  “I’ll remember that.” Garrett says before he leaves.

Garret has never been to the red light district. Something that took me a little by surprise for being unusual for most game protagonists. The surprise quickly turned into appreciation for the fact that carnal pleasures are obviously not on his agenda. He goes to find Erin’s hideout knowing she’d been there before. We are treated to his first full blown hallucination of Erin. She tells him he must find a key, something from before she became Erin and that it will lead him to the truth. The fact that her hideout is plastered with drawings and sketches of him shows a bit of an obsessive nature. It’s evident from the hallucination that there is something there he is meant to find. Taking a similar path as in the hallucination leads him to a strange dial. He decides to take it with him. At the brothel while he’s searching he looks into a keyhole and is treated to what is either another hallucination or one of Erin’s memories. At this point I began to wonder how he had her memories and speculated it was related to the accident and his new focus ability.

We meet several interesting characters in this chapter, getting to peek in on private moments. One of note is Eastwick who we learn is an architect. There is also the Madam who happens to be a trans female. A detail I loved. Getting to the book is an interesting endeavor and Garret finds the ruins of a ancient library. Its here that we start seeing strange glowing flowers. Picking up the book triggers another short hallucination and the name Cornelius is repeated along with a new name. Aldous. Keys are mentioned. On the way out something is lurking in the shadows but darts away. The tunnel out leads directly under a bed and someone is getting serviced. It’s the Thief-Taker General who is just as tender with his whores as with his men. Madam confronts him and threatens to divest him of his manhood should he strike the girl again. This really made me love the Madam. She takes care of her girls even protecting them from powerful men like the General.

The ever so kind General tosses the poor girl to the floor where she sees Garrett hiding under the bed. And of course she screams. This was an ‘oh fuck’ moment for me because I now understood just how violent and depraved the General is and it made me fear for Garrett. He can’t get out from under the bed since the rug is on fire on the side opposite from where the General is standing. Thankfully the General is not wearing his wrist mounted crossbow, he does however display an impressive amount of strength flipping the large bed. There is no time for Garrett to move and he rolls trying to avoid the bed but ends up slamming into the wall with the bed pinning him. The General recognizes him and seems rather gleeful at the prospect of killing Garrett. Which given the injury to his leg is understandable. Garrett manages to wiggle free and shoves a table at the General buying himself a few seconds to grab the cane and slip out the door. He leaves with the admonishment to the General to be nicer to the ladies just before a large wingback chair slams into the door. Using the cane to wedge the door shut Garrett makes good his escape.  This scene was a good set up to their continuing conflict and the General’s growing obsession with finding and killing Garrett.

Seven nights later and Garrett is back at the Clock Tower when he hears something out of the ordinary. He finds Jenivire dying and immediately realizes Basso must be in trouble. Things in the City are deteriorating. There are public hangings for the slightest offense without any trial. Garrett heads for the Crippled Burrick and finds Orion rifling through everything in a frenzy. He tells Garrett that the Thief-Taker General has taken Basso and some of his men captive and is upset that the book looks to have been taken as well. Garrett is angry, wanting to know what is so important about a book that his friend’s life is at stake. I find it interesting that he uses the word friend and not fence here.

Orion is agitated and goes on about how important the book is and how the Baron won’t use it’s power for the good of the people. This is a huge clue because as we saw earlier it’s the same book they were using when the accident happened. Garrett, knowing Basso like he does knows the book is safe but he doesn’t let Orion have it until he knows where they took Basso.  Orion tells him that they were taken to the Keep and points him to Jacob. One of his own men who had been studying the Keep looking for a way in. According to Orion he found one. Here Orion makes the mistake of touching Garrett, putting a hand on his shoulder in what is meant to be a friendly fashion. It’s quite obviously not acceptable but it tells me that Orion feels as though he can take liberties with Garrett, as if they are friends. They are not.

Garrett is thankful for the information and only relays this sentiment by stating that once he sees to his ‘fence’ he’ll see about getting out Orion’s Graven. That Garret corrects his label for Basso is interesting and lets Orion know that he calls very few friend. He hands the book over once he has the information on where to find Jacob. Orion tells him, “You are not so different, you and I, Garret. You bring change. One day the people will thank you for that.”

“You think too much of the people.” Garret retorts. This is an interesting statement it shows that Garret knows that any sort of altruistic endeavor is ultimately a thankless one. People are just as likely to try to destroy their saviors as praise them. That and it doesn’t pay.

Once he gets to Graystone plaza it’s evident that Jacob is no longer going to be able to help him. But, he does know someone who might be able to help thanks to his time in the House of Blossoms. The architect Eastwick who was responsible for the design and building of the Keep.

On the way to Eastwick’s city house he notices a fire erupting at the top of the Keep. Time is not on his side. He needs to get to Eastwick and find the plans for the keep and get to Basso before the structure succumbs. Easier said than done. Eastwick’s city house is crawling with Watch guards. We learn that Eastwick has barricaded himself in his study. Finding the hidden entrance leads to a massive study where Eastwick has hanged himself. The plans aren’t just lying out in the open. A puzzle must be solved first which reveals a hidden panel. Grabbing the plans just as the guards break the door down it’s a harrowing escape full of flaming crossbow quarrels, dogs, guards and not to mention leaping from rooftops.  The entire time you get the feeling that he’s enjoying himself. It culminates in a leap that is arrested by a line thrown. He slams into the wall hard enough to probably crack a rib or two and reminded me of the time I fell off a roof at work and my safety harness caught me. Garret of course is unfazed and immediately looks over the plans to determine the best way into the Keep. In doing so he finds not only a way in but confirmation of the rumored Great Safe along with the combination.

Exhaust vent it is. Why am I not surprised?

Getting to the Keep proves interesting because there is a massive explosion debris raining down and killing several of the guards stationed outside. Garrett makes his way through the smoldering ruins of the courtyard. The Keep itself is burning and getting through to the floor where Basso is held is a major challenge. There are exploding gas lines and plenty of fires to avoid. A bloodied and beaten Basso is surprised but very happy to see Garrett. “Thanks Garrett. I was going a little crazy in there. I even wished I had Jenivere with me.”

Garrett who was just ahead making sure all the guards were dead, stops at this comment. It almost looks as if Garrett is going to say ‘I’m sorry’ as he turns to Basso, but the words don’t come. They aren’t needed. Just the look of regret on Garrett’s face is enough. Basso is devastated. He’d always planned on killing the bird himself but even that’s been taken away. That Garrett realizes how much the stupid bird meant to Basso shows another side of his character.

He heads for the elevator surprising Basso. “What are you up to? Oh wait. Wait! Wait! You not thinking about those tall tales about the legendary Great Safe, are you?”

Garrett doesn’t bother to answer. It should be obvious to Basso that of course he’s going after the safe.

“And Garrett…” Basso pauses clearly worried but knowing he cannot stop the master thief. “If you get out of here alive…I mean, you know, when you get out of here. I’ll be at the Siren’s Rest in the Southern Quarter.”

There is nothing more to say and Garrett closes the elevator door.

He does find the great safe and as he pulls the lever he tells himself. “This might be a really bad idea.”

There is an ominous rumbling and the enormous safe lowers from the ceiling. It’s nearly two stories tall and almost that wide. Garrett’s awe is evident in his voice. “The Great Safe. It doesn’t disappoint.” A pause. “I’m going to need bigger lock picks.”

The locking mechanism is daunting requiring multiple steps including six combination locks. As Garret reaches for the second set of locks a quarrel pierces the back of his left hand. It’s not an easy thing to sneak up on Garrett yet somehow the Thief-Taker General has managed it. Clutching his wrist pain evident in every line of his body Garrett turns to face the General.

“Don’t you know, Garrett? Greed is a sin and you must be punished for your sins. But, I understand greed my friend where it comes from. You made it so easy; all I had to do was get you in the building.” He pauses and taps his cane.

Garrett’s mind is working furiously as he scans the room maneuvering to the side of the safe and into the shadows.  It was a trap to begin with.

“You see…I know you better than you know yourself.” The General gloats.

Steeling himself Garrett pulls the quarrel from his hand. The guards are closing in, there isn’t time to be worried about the injury. He slips behind the safe looking for a way around the squad of guards.

Thief-Taker-General

“You’ll swing from a noose in the morning, Master Thief.” The General’s tone is derisive. He’d rather wound and capture Garrett in order to kill him slowly than kill him outright while his back is turned. Garrett makes the snap decision to grab on to the safe as they raise it. It’s better than staying where he is to face six guard with swords and crossbows. He nearly takes another quarrel from the General though and barely manages to hang on with his good hand. Garrett is even more determined now to open the safe and take whatever he happens to find inside. He eludes the guards long enough to get the safe open.

What he finds is nothing that he expected.

The safe is empty except for a primal stone fragment. Picking up the fragment triggers another hallucination that seems to have bits of Garrett’s past woven in as well. Then we hear Erin again. She’s in pain and desperate to escape whatever is being done to her. Garrett chases her specter through what appears to have been an orphanage, the bed frames twisted and warped by vines. Again she tells him to follow her that she has a secret to tell him.

“You grow up strong when you grow up alone. There is no one to help you up.”

Garrett knows this intimately. “And no one to hold you back.”

“Is that why you let me go Garrett? Because I was the only family you had?”

Garrett stays silent. Neither affirming or denying the statement.

“We never did see eye-to-eye. Big brother knows best.”

Garrett’s voice softens as he replies “I tried to help but you wouldn’t listen.”

Erin retorts, “You know, I was just thinking the same thing about you. I’m going to make them stop. I want to sleep like you did.” Panic creeps into her voice. “Northcrest! He’s here! You want to know what happened? Where you’ve been? Come to the asylum. Moira harbors truths others would sooner forget.”

During this conversation Garrett is walking down a long hall. He gets to a door with a barred window. Beyond it he can see a figure huddled in the corner.

“You’re here to save me?” Erin asks. She laughs. “Then you’ll need the key. Look behind you.”

The hall is gone. He’s in a room with a small statue now. The statue holds a piece of the primal stone.

“Just steal it. You’ve never hesitated before.”

The moment he picks up the fragment, the spectral Erin surges up and grabs his wrist leaping for him.

The vision ends and Garrett is falling. Or rather the safe is falling with him in it. It’s a rough and tumble landing and he staggers out barely keeping his feet. The Keep is in ruins.

“That didn’t go quite according to plan.” He concedes. “I need to get back to the clock tower and clear my head.”

Exiting-the-Great-Safe

The Graven uprising has begun. The Watch are now the ones being slaughtered in the public squares. The City is degenerating into chaos. Garrett heads for the Siren’s Rest to find Basso. He needs answers. Basso is drowning his pain in the swill they serve.

“You look almost human Basso.” Garrett quips from the booth behind him.

Basso chuckles. “If you can survive on what the serve here you can survive on anything. How’s the hand?”

“Sore.”

“Like your pride, I’ll bet.” Basso shakes his head and snorts. “That shit-bucked needs to get what’s coming to him.” Basso’s concern is evident but he knows better than to fuss over Garrett’s injury. As he stated, Garrett’s pride took the greater hit getting played like that by the General. Then something rather unprecedented happens judging from Basso’s reaction. Garrett asks for a favor.

“You still have your boat?”

Basso sighs. “I’d get a room here if I were you…find yourself a nice gal and bed down till this whole thing blows over.”

That’s not acceptable to Garrett. “I need to do a little research. It’s about Erin. I need to get across to the Moira Asylum.”

Basso is skeptical but supportive. “Just let me know when you wanna go…I’ll be there.”

Basso has a small row boat. He’s waiting in it when Garrett arrives to leave. The usually cat footed Garrett is unsure and unsteady as he gets into the boat. Now that he’s faced with the prospect of actually being in the boat he’s not nearly as comfortable with the idea.

“Now I remember why I hate boats.” He grumbles one foot in the boat the other still on the dock arms splayed for balance.

“Well, I hate swimming a whole lot more, so get in.” Garrett plops down with less than his usual grace and Basso all but swats his hands away from the oars. “No. I’ll take the oars.  You row about as well as I can dance.”

Garrett grips the sides of the boat. “Sure. The exercise will do you some good.”

Basso just laughs and starts rowing.

He eventually asks Garrett what Erin has to do with Moira. There is a pause then for the first time in the game we are treated to Garrett opening up and actually discussing what he remembers of the accident. The hallucinations are bothering him a lot more than he’d like to admit and he wonders if he’s going crazy. That he trusts Basso enough to show this kind of vulnerability is a clue to just how much he’s coming to rely on the fence. He really does consider him a friend.

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Huh?” Basso’s not quite following but willing to listen.

“Spirits, you know, the dead…coming back to haunt the living? Punish them.” Garrett thinks Erin is trying to punish him for getting her killed. His guilt over what happened is eating at him and driving him to find out what actually happened after the accident.

“You think Erin is haunting you?” Basso’s tone isn’t dismissive, he’s genuinely concerned and it shows in the way he looks at Garrett.

Garrett hangs his head and there is a soft sigh, “I don’t know, perhaps.” He pauses for a moment. “I remember… a ritual…some kind of explosion…Erin died. I’ll never forget it. And everything else is…gone.”

Basso’s concern deepens his brow furrowing as he listens. “Aw c’mon Garrett…I know you wouldn’t have put that gal in harms way. She’d have put herself there easy enough.”

They arrive at the dock and Garrett is less morose and more determined. “There is an answer in here somewhere. I could feel it.”

Basso warns Garrett that things at the asylum might not be optimal for find information. After a riot there has been no communication with anyone on the island and the few boats that did venture there didn’t return.

“I don’t know what you expect to find in there but be careful. Don’t become a ghost yourself.”

Garrett pauses before looking over his shoulder. “I’ve been a ghost all my life.”

A ghost. A nonentity. Something no one wants and everyone avoids. This is how Garrett sees himself. His independent attitude has lead to loneliness.

And thus begins Chapter 5: The Forsaken. It’s a turning point in the narrative and marks the start of the third act in Chapter 6. There is a lot that happens in this chapter and a lot of new information. It happens to be one of my favorite chapters. It’s also the most eerie and haunting as Garrett slips around the seemingly deserted asylum. The front door is locked but then again Garrett was never one for front doors. After scouting around the parameter and walking back by the door he notices that its now open. Someone seems to be expecting him. The interior of the asylum is quiet as a tomb, dimly lit and obviously abandoned in a hurry. There are still documents laying around. By the time he makes it the patient wing of the hospital it’s increasingly apparent that it’s not as abandoned as he would probably like it to be. There are many ominous signs. Large scratches on the wall and a pool of blood in front of the door leading to the female wing. But that’s where he feels he’ll find the answers he’s looking for.

Along the way he finds more documents. The story they tell is heartrending. It’s been confirmed that while Erin is Patient #19 Garret could have possibly been Patient #31, the Archivist. If this indeed is the case then why didn’t the Beggar Queen tell him that’s where he’d been. She obviously knew since she mentioned they took him out of the City, to heal him.

Looking through a keyhole into a room with drawings plastered on the walls we are greeted by Erin on the other side of the door.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Garrett is a bit taken aback. “Erin. Is it the asylum that’s haunted, or me? Why were you here?”

Garrett experiences another auditory hallucination that or a flashback to the accident. Erin is in pain. Documents point to room 3F. He eventually finds her room and it leads him even further down, into the lock down ward in the basement. Turning on the generator allows him access to the room he needs. It’s an examination room complete with a restraining chair. As soon as he grabs the syringe off the seat he’s thrown into another hallucination. At first it seems as if Garrett himself are in the chair fully restrained. But it’s Erin’s memory. Erin, almost as if speaking to herself tells Garrett.

“Don’t show him you are scared. Don’t let him see you lose control.” Baron Northcrest enters, walking by the spectral Erin. “I wanted to stop him.” She continues. “I wanted to save myself. But they won’t let me wake up.”

Baron Northcrest is determined to get the primal out of Erin but doesn’t want to kill her. She asks if Garrett understands the fear of being trapped, being used. The doctor brandishes a large syringe and starts for Garrett who struggles against the restraints.

The Baron becomes frantic. “Quickly! She’s corrupting it!”

“See.” Erin scoffs. “I ruin everything.” Apparently she’s heard this before and from Garrett judging by her tone.

The Baron and the doctor close in further restraining Garrett and the syringe heads for his right eye and Erin screams. The vision starts to fade and we hear the doctor. “It’s no good. I’ll take her back down to the prison level.”

Garrett comes next to the chair. He’s unsteady when he stands and looks around the room. “I thought you died.” His voice is soft, almost pained. “But, it’s worse than that. You did steal the primal that night. Now, the Baron wants it back.” He heads for the prison level and enters a hallway. Bodies are slamming against the shut doors, twisted taloned limbs snap through the cracks in the doors trying to grab him. He makes it to the door at the end of the hall just as they start breaking through. He’s grabbed and dragged back through the door. Light envelops him and he finds himself in another hallway, this one lined with the strange glowing flowers. Gravity doesn’t seem to work the same way and he falls though a door. Erin is talking. She wants to know why she’s alone and where Garrett is at. Then we see how the freaks came about. They were human.

She tells Garrett that she thought he was the one she could trust and to follow her to the truth. Here again Garrett’s whole motivation is reiterated. He’s driven by guilt and even his typically fiercely independent nature won’t let him leave it be. He has to know the truth of what happened as much to absolve his conscience as to see if Erin truly is still alive and in need of assistance. It seems that she is as the hallucination-or is it a memory she’s showing him-continues.

“Someone is going to die.” She tells him as the vision fades.

Garrett’s not sure if he’s going crazy or not at this point, but everything seems to be leading him to the Baron. So it’s back to the Northcrest Manor. It’s under attack by the Graven Dawn but Garrett manages to find the Baron in his study. Garrett demands answers from him.

Garret and the Baron

“Nobody likes my answers.” Northcrest is unfazed by Garrett’s threat. He goes ahead and explains the primal to Garrett and his plans for it and what happened to Erin. Orion, also known as Aldus, took her from Moira, not Cornelius.

Garrett has once again been used and the Baron realizes that Garrett himself is the missing piece Orion needs to complete what he’s trying to do. He maneuvers Garrett into an elevator and then sends him down with the intent that the Graven will kill him on sight. Garrett for his part goes to find the last piece of the primal stone. He manages to break the contraption holding it only to be confronted once more by the Thief-Taker General. Held fast by a boot on his injured hand Garrett looks for a way to get free as the General gloats about how he’s going to take his hand as a trophy. The claw comes in handy here, Garrett slamming it into the General’s bad leg. Then its a wet ride through the sewers.

He goes back to the clock tower and we get an interesting conversation between him and the Queen of the Beggars. How she got into the tower is a mystery. She shows just how astute and observant she really is uttering one of the more iconic phrases in the entire game.  “In order to be alone, you must have something to be alone from.” It’s obvious that Garrett doesn’t want to acknowledge this but he knows she is right. He has to get the the Ceremonial chamber and to Erin before Orion accidentally kills her and in doing so destroys the city. He arrives as Orion is beginning the cleansing ceremony using Erin’s blood to heal people of the gloom and dooming them to an even worse fate. Garrett’s proximity to Erin causes his head to ache most likely due to the fragment in his eye. Erin wakes and using the primal freezes time so that Garrett can get to the altar and Orion. Garret steals the amulet they are using to anoint the suffers and time starts again. Orion is shocked and tries to appeal to Garrett, but ends up grabbing Erin and dragging her away. She screams and releases a wave of energy sending everyone including Garrett flying away from the altar.

“This one is mine.” The Thief-Taker General blocks Garrett’s path to Erin. The General is determined to kill Garret with his bare hands at this point. The outcome depends on the gamer. I personally prefer the one where Garrett slips past him and out into the hall. Its truer to his nature rather than outright killing the man. It’s also the best kind of revenge.

It did not come as any surprise to me that Erin is the final boss. Through the entire game she is hounding Garret for abandoning and betraying her compounding his guilt and outright manipulating him at times. She is not an overly sympathetic character even if she does help Garrett, even saving his life a couple of times through various means. It’s never for his benefit though. She needs him to rescue her only because he is the only other person seemingly attuned to the primal.  She didn’t give him the focus ability and whisper advice to him out of any loyalty except to herself. Yes what happened to her was quite horrible, but it was her decision on that rooftop to disregard Garrett’s admonition that she wasn’t ready. She let her pride and vanity override her sense and she paid for it. Garret for his part  has changed, he’s not as insular and isolated as before. He’s allowed himself to trust and to even call at least one person a friend. His drive for perfection and unwillingness to rely on anyone else has been tempered. He paid for his mistakes and even though he was tricked into helping secure items for the very people hurting Erin he made good on his promise to help her.

The final scene leaves a lot open for interpretation. We are lead to believe that Erin survived and left Garrett unconscious where he was. This allows for a sequel to include her. I hope it doesn’t. There are several other characters I think would be much better and offer better motivation and conflict for the next game. Ideally, I’d like to see the Thief-Taker General. He was a wickedly smart and vile character. His ambition easily matches Garrett’s and I think he’s more than a match intellectually for the master thief.

Garrett’s core personality trait is his independence. This most likely stems from his having to rely on himself at a very early age and having trust issues ingrained into him. He’s introverted and believes only in himself and his abilities. He doesn’t want to owe anyone anything. He’s self-reliant with inner emotional strength. He’s always striving for things he wants and enjoys his solitude. He seeks out information in order to make sound decisions and he trusts his intuition. He’s very centered knowing who he is and what his place in the world is. He doesn’t care what other people think and cannot be swayed by peer pressure. He doesn’t like to meddle in other’s lives. He’s very patient but doesn’t waste time. He quickly realizes when something isn’t working and takes steps to correct it. He’s very protective of his privacy and finds it difficult if not impossible to ask for help. He’s highly disciplined and takes pride in his achievements.

But it’s his drive to be perfect that gets him in trouble. He wants to prove to himself that he deserves the title of Master Thief and this means a lifestyle devoid of personal pleasures and creature comforts. He must steal to prove he exists. This has led to a very insular lifestyle devoid of social interaction except when absolutely necessary. While

What's yours is mine.

What’s yours is mine.

Overall I found Garrett to be an incredibly likable rogue even with his faults. I feel we should have been given more backstory with him and Erin to really understand her and why she felt so betrayed and why he felt so guilty.  The whole issue of the Primal could have been handled a little bit better and introduced a little sooner, but it worked the way it was. My only issue was that the last half of the second act and the first part of the third act were too heavy on the hallucinations. It was no wonder Garret thought he was going crazy. I was starting too as well. Erin’s constant harping on the betrayal she felt got old. It wasn’t completely Garrett’s fault what happened the year before. She chose to ignore him. Yes he did take the claw from her, but he was trying to protect her from herself. And she nearly got them both killed. I have little sympathy for stupidity and selfishness and she displays both right from the start.

The entire theme of the game is trust and betrayal. There are numerous times Garrett is asked to trust and several times he’s betrayed. Knowing who to trust and when is always a dicey proposition, especially in Garrett’s line of work. Each betrayal and manipulation feels like a personal assault and trust is the currency paid. Toward the end he’s not even sure he can trust himself. And if you can’t trust yourself…who can you trust?

Thief the Game

http://www.gamespot.com/thief/

http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/thief

Writing FUNdamentals

The Importance of Coffee and Air

It’s not far off to say that for the most part a writer’s blood is 90% coffee or some caffeinated beverage. Even Dunkin’ Donuts noticed that writers are among the heaviest coffee drinkers in the industrialized world ranking #4 in their survey.  I don’t think that surprises anyone.

You know what else fuels writers? Reviews.  Coffee might be our life’s blood but reviews are the air we breathe. Sometimes the air stinks and then we know we’ve either done something wrong, made an enemy somewhere or a troll has claimed our bridge. Other times its all roses and fresh linen. Either way reviews let us know how we are doing and what is or isn’t working in our prose.

So how do you, gracious giver of air, go about crafting a review that keeps us writers breathing? It’s really quite simple. Remember that time you read that one book and got really excited about it and decided your best friend just HAD to read it? Yeah, do that. But write it down and put it on Amazon or Goodreads or where ever you like.  If you want to get technical and look all fancy you can do as Amanda Patterson suggested in a recent blog post about how to write a great book review.  It’s still pretty simple.

Now great doesn’t always mean positive, sometimes you don’t like the book. That’s fine. You are entitled to your opinion and this doesn’t lessen the validity of your review one iota. I don’t expect everyone to love every word I write. Art is wholly subjective after all and some art is meant to evoke negative emotions.

So, this writer would love to know what you think of her works. Good or bad. Air is still air after all.  Now, where is my coffee.

Books · Characters · Sorrow's Fall · Writing FUNdamentals

Let’s Get Complicated Part Two: The Positives of Being a Villain

So last time we talked about creating multi-dimensional characters and focused on the protagonist of my novel Sorrow’s Fall.  This week I’d like to help you look for ways to make your antagonist just as compelling and multi-faceted.  After reading my post about Sorrow you are probably wondering what kind of person could possibly be an impediment to him and his goals.  That’s a very good question. It’s also one you need to consider in your own story. For now we are going to assume that your antagonist is another person and not that your character is struggling against nature or something. Nature doesn’t really have a personality, though it might seem like it at times.

In Sorrow’s Fall we are quickly introduced to Qadira Fall. She is the daughter of Lady Zulyekha Fall and the Queen-In-Waiting. She is nearly as powerful as the Barendi Queen herself. She has been raised and groomed to be consummate royalty. She is gorgeous, highly-intelligent and disgustingly wealthy. She also hates Sorrow with a passion. In the book he has no idea why she detests him. All he knows is that she tries to kill him every chance she gets.

She is his antagonist. But outside of her hatred for Sorrow, what is she like?  We know she’s royalty, that she inspires great loyalty among her coterie and that she is driven by the need to save her race. But what core qualities does she possess that take her from just being the person who hates Sorrow to a force all her own?

Last time we started with a negative trait, since most heroes have issues with them. This time lets look at the positive qualities a villain could have.  Yes, even villains have positive traits.  Serious. I’ll prove it.

First I need to figure out her core moral value. The Postitive Trait Thesaurus by Angela Ackerman & Becca Puglisi offers some amazing insight as to why this is so necessary. Not just for villains, but for our heroes as well. In The Positive Trait Thesaurus Appendix B has a method for finding your character’s core moral value. This is the core belief that affects all their other traits.  After making my lovely list of her positive traits I went to Appendix A to see which of them were moral values.  The main one was professional.  I’ll be honest. That confused me. Until I went to the entry for it.  There they list the definition as: exhibiting specialized knowledge and applying it with courtesy and good judgement.

Whoa. Wait-a-minute.  Now I’m more confused. My villain is courteous and has good judgement?  Well, let’s think about this for a moment. She is extremely well educated by the best instructors money can buy. She’s talented, smart, career and success focused, she’s ambitious and mature for her age. She is confident with high self-esteem and is highly ethical.

She’s not sounding very vile.  And if you are not a threat to her, she’s won’t be.  So what associated behaviors might she display where Sorrow can see them?  Lets look at the list.

  • Having the education and knowledge required to be proficient at one’s job
  • Being experienced in a specific field of work
  • Reliability, trustworthiness and honesty
  • Having strong people skills
  • Objectivity
  • Working well under pressure
  • Having a strong command of language and being able to articulate oneself well
  • Adaptability
  • Keeping one’s promises
  • Maintaining control over one’s emotions
  • Being proactive
  • Thinking before acting
  • Treating others with respect and courtesy
  • Being proactive
  • Being a strong listener
  • Assessing the politics of a situation and acting accordingly
  • Using good hygiene
  • Being well dressed
  • Acting appropriately for the situation

I could go on but you get the idea. A couple of the ones I highlighted as far as things Sorrow sees are; being experienced, adaptability, keeping promises, using good hygiene and being well dressed. Each of these things on their own seems pretty neutral or at least positive. So how do we grow her character beyond just being professional?  Well according to Appendix B the next layer beyond the moral core is achievement traits. This was a new thought for me and it took me a little getting used to, but now I see how invaluable it is. So let’s look further into Qadira’s personality and see what achievement traits she’s might posses that build on her core trait of professionalism.

The first one that pops out for me is ambitious but decisive actually wins out as the dominant trait here. Mostly because you can’t get much more successful than she already is, though she does have ambitions. Her decisiveness on the other hand is partly her and partly her upbringing. She’s had to bear a lot of responsibility since she was very young and much is expected of her. Her core value also influences her decisiveness since she is driven by a strong sense of responsibility and has the desire to lead.

Cool, we are on a roll here. Can you see how working from the inmost core trait outward is helping us build her personality and keep her well rounded? Let’s move on to the next layer: interactive.

These traits develop through interaction with others and the world in which the character lives. These traits help her work with her subordinates, handle conflicts, convey ideas and create healthy relationships. So building on our core trait of professionalism and our achievement trait of decisiveness what might be her dominant interactive trait? Here I run across several that are worth noting such as bold, flirtatious, inspirational, patriotic, persuasive, sophisticated and traditional. She is all these traits to varying degrees, but which one is dominant and why? Looking through the book both patriotic and sophistication are good choices, but sophisticated wins.  This is mostly due to her upbringing and the culture in which she was raised. She was brought up to be royalty so sophistication is not only needed, it’s demanded.

Now we come to the out most layer, the identity layer. The book describes this layer as “attributes [that] are tied to a personal sense of identity, leading to satisfaction and contentment with who one is. Traits emerge to allow the character to explore and better understand what makes them unique.” (The Positive Trait Thesaurus 2013, Ackerman & Puglisi, Appendix B page 233). It’s in this layer that I would put patriotic along with traditional. Here traditional actually compliments patriotic. She is very concerned with keeping her native culture untainted by outside influences which is directly tied to politics. She even went so far as to disown her mother who went against the established tradition and is willing to start a war to keep things as they have been.

You’ll notice we’ve not once considered the negative side of any of these traits, yet we already have a very good basis for her character. And she doesn’t seem all that evil does she? 

All of this just from a core value of professionalism.